Wednesday, January 9, 2013

not the start but where i'm starting

about a month and a half ago i got an email from the hr girl and one of my superiors at work. they said they wanted to have a meeting about "the necessity of my role in the future."
as soon as i read it i just knew. i was going to be let go.

a few days later we had a meeting and they let me know that they needed me to come back to my role as a full-time, in the office writer. if not, they'd let me stay on through the end of december, but then have to let me go, with a severance package.
i knew my answer right then, but i told them i'd think about it and discuss it with my husband before getting back to them.
the next day i let them know that i wasn't interested in returning to my old position and that i'd be happy to stay on until the week before christmas. they agreed, i signed a few contracts and agreements and that was that. i would be out of a job come monday, december 17, 2012.

my last monday of work was quite uneventful. i finished up my last few articles, made final edits and delivered them with a short email about how it's been a pleasure working with my team and thanking them for the flexibility they'd given me for the past almost two years since Micah was born.

the next day, tuesday, december 18, i drove downtown to turn in my laptop, my key/badge thing and the documents that i needed to sign. the hr girl met me out at my car to pick up my stuff so i didn't have to pay to park and haul micah all the way up to the 17th floor. i thought that was nice of her.
once we dropped off the goods, we headed a few more blocks downtown to make christmas cookies with my sister at her new apartment.

for the last year, everytime i would complain about my job curtis would say, "just quit, jess." to which i'd respond, "yeah right. i can't quit now, we need this money for the adoption. you say that but you really don't want me to quit now, you don't really mean that."

so i kept working, from when micah was three months old to 22 months. every monday i would put in 10 or more hours to help pay for the adoption, for the child i knew was coming. so when i was finally done, and they told me what my severance pay would be, we both were in shock. it was almost the amount we had left to pay for the adoption. we knew this was no coincidence. God had given me that job to help ease the burden of the steep cost of adoption. but now he was taking it away, at just the right time.

maybe he knew that we would never hand it over on our own. never give up that extra income no matter how much i complained and begrudged it. maybe he knew he needed to just help us make a clean break before a baby came into our lives to eat up all that time i used to spend working.

when i was officially done we joked, "gosh, we're really ready for a baby now that i'm not even working anymore!"

little did we know that on Thursday morning at 8am, only three days after my last day of work our lives would forever be changed...


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