Monday, January 28, 2013

d-day

after not sleeping much again on friday night, saturday finally came. we both woke up early and then woke up micah early to get him over to my parents for the day. we tried to explain to him what was happening that day.

"micah, today you are going to become a big brother. you have a baby sister. do you want a baby sister?"

he seemed cluelessly excited. there was a twinge of pity for my baby boy that was about to enter a whole new phase in his little life. he had no idea what was coming and i was acutely aware that he was only going to be my baby for another hour or two.

i remember after we were all dressed and ready we still had a bit of time to kill before dropping micah at my parents' house. i paced the house and peed about 10 times. Curtis chose the last 15 minutes to start putting together the baby swing. i could not sit still. i was nervous and excited and anxious. a hundred knots filled my stomach.

as we got out of the car at my mom's house with micah my nervous bladder kicked in. i ran to her back door then to her bathroom. then i laughed. i almost peed my pants on the way to their house.

before we left their house Curtis asked my mom to pray for us. she did and it was an emotional, lovely moment. the four minute drive to Panera felt like an hour. we talked about how insane this was that we were going to walk in and meet our daughter's biological mother. walking in to Panera we were nervous. we were 10 minutes early and spotted the her social worker right away. sitting in the back left corner of the restaurant, we introduced ourselves and sat down with her to wait for her to get there. she set us at ease and gave us some suggestions and tips on how the hour would go, how she would guide the conversation if things got awkward. it felt like a long 10 minutes, but with each passing minute i was just getting more and more excited instead of more and more nervous.

what an opportunity we were being given.

then we turned around to see her walking in, walking toward us and all fear and anxiety lifted and there was only joy...



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