Wednesday, April 11, 2012

in another year i'm gonna miss these days

In another year I'm gonna miss the way his 25 lb body sinks into mine just right
Not too heavy but heavy enough to ground me like an anchor
A paper weight on a stack of unstapled pages
Like my days
Apt to blow away with the slightest breeze, wind 
or uncovered sneeze

Bottle times are as special to me as nursings were just a few short months ago
It's funny how time makes fuzzy out of crisp clear
How the haze of newbornness is replaced by the fog of wanting to remember so bad we forget

How I can barely remember the featherlight heft of his 7lb 9oz body
How it slid out of me and carved for itself a place on my chest
On my lap
In my heart

He is saying words that maybe only I can distinguish
But it tells more of growth and understanding than a hundred poems
thees and thous scrolled cursive style

He follows commands and follows me, all shadow like
Gives two-armed hugs and reaches out a block to share as I type
He says 'wow' with mouth ringed in perfect 'oh' formation
Not to nurse but to communicate

In a year I'm gonna miss these days
Where naps are long and when one sleeps there is silence
When one is soothed there is none left to console except my own aching heart that whimpers how time has gone too fast

A trite warning from those that unfortunately knew truth before it hit me


Rona said...

Fabulous, Jess. I have read and cried, reread and recried. Beautiful writing.

CitricSugar said...

Beautiful writing.

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