Thursday, December 1, 2011

still thankful, even after thanksgiving...oh, the nerve


every year, i hate the way that christmas is pushed further and further up the calendar.
before thanksgiving
before even halloween in some places.
i hate that autumn is rushed for the long winter that comes after.

i was not feeling the christmas spirit last week.
the switch in my brain on thanksgiving night didn't switch and i wasn't ready
didn't want to decorate for christmas, get a tree, go on the hunt for presents.
i just felt blah about it all.

but we did it anyways.

last friday, before the thanksgiving leftovers were even eaten
we went with Curtis' family to the tree farm about an hour and a half south of here
we took a slay/hay ride (in 60 degree weather mind you), browsed their shop of holiday cheer,
had a nice lunch, and we even stopped at lowe's on the way home to pick out our tree
(we decided a few years ago that the hassle of tree cutting is overrated, and expensive),

we even decorated our little home that night, complete with christmas music, but it was just business for me - pull out the boxes, unwrap the ornaments, hang the kissing ball and practice with my boys.

let's get it done, i kept thinking, so when i do feel some holiday cheer kicking in, it will already be up and ready for my enjoyment.

but then Curtis grabbed Micah and held him up by the top of the tree - just like the photo i have of my dad and me on my first christmas, with my first christmas tree - and that did it.


just like that, i saw the holidays through the eyes of my son.
who last year was still kicking away in my belly
who can now crawl up to the tree if he wanted.

he may have no memories of his first christmas, but we'll have photos of him
hovering over his first tree, in footie pj's before the lights were strung and the tree skirt laid around the base of the stump.

and although i'm slowly letting the holiday spirit sink in with all of its gift giving and tree decorating,
i'm still trying hard to keep the little spaces of our home sacred.

and it's not easy.

so i guess i don't mind that i haven't fully gotten into the swing of holiday things quite yet. maybe i'd be wise to guard myself from some of the voices that tend to speak a little too loud into my ears this time of year anyways.


Veda Penick said...

Freaky Friday Jess! Jerry just said to me--did you read Jessie's blog yet? I said no not yet. Hmmm, we are way too much alike! Scary! I just posted mine this morning and I hadn't even seen yours yet.

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