Thursday, November 17, 2011

9 months in, 9 months out


yesterday morning he woke up laughing. it was seriously the sweetest sound.
i didn't even want to go in and get him up, but just stand outside his door eavesdropping.

people ask me all the time if he's always such a good baby and i almost feel guilty saying yes.
we seriously couldn't have asked for a more laid back, sweet-tempered, content little guy.

it blows my mind that he has now been a part of our little world outside of me for as long as he was inside.

i thought i knew the extent of my love for him when i felt him kick inside, then i gave birth and that love multiplied by a billion - and now, with every month that passes i love him more.

last night when curtis walked in the back door micah saw him and let out the loudest, happiest squeal. i think we both melted right then and there. then curtis said, 'i've always wanted to walk in the door after work and have him waiting there, excited to see me.' i wish i had his reaction on video - it was a memory i'll never forget, and one that will be repeated over and over.

then, over dinner he said, 'i can't remember what it was like before him.'
and really, neither of us can. in 9 short months he has become so much a part of our family that it's hard to recall what life was like pre-micah. we both agreed we wasted a lot of time.

life is just so rich. and he keeps getting more and more fun. he cracks me up with his funny faces, his excited squeals, how he just started finding it funny to stick his tongue out at you. how extremely ticklish and giggly he gets at the oddest moments. how he sucks his thumb, but only when he's tired, how he loves cherrios and even at the sight of the big yellow box, his feet start kicking almost uncontrollable.

still no teeth, but he's got a pretty fast army crawl to remind us that he's approaching toddlerhood at a rapid rate. he loves wheels and balls and cars. any food that we offer he happily scarfs. he goes to sleep without a fuss and still nurses like a champ.

while it's crazy/exciting to think that in a few short months we will wean and it will be the last time i nurse for a while, i'll be honest, i will miss that bond that we share right now. the way he looks at me and plays with my hair at he eats.

when i was still weeks away from having him, a friend reminded me - 'you will never have this time again, so enjoy it, just the two of you.' and right now i feel similarly about our time now.

one day soon (or not-so-soon) our family of three will become a family of four. the timing is indefinite but the reality is there - so i'm making a conscious effort to enjoy this time, just me and my two boys, without rushing into the future too far.

we are in a good, happy place and while i know the next place will be a good one for us too, i am acutely aware that we will never have this time again, and i'm okay with that (thrilled, even) but not anxious to get there too fast.


Amber said...

I am OBSESSED with yor granny square blankie!

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