Saturday, August 27, 2011

on repeat: the things i say a hundred times a day


Rise and shine and give god the glory, glory

Good morning, good morning, it's time to get up

Are you ready to get up up up?

Do you want some momma's milk

Just gimme a little burp burp burp

God loves you, god loves you, in my bible book it says that god loves you

Let's change that stinker you got in there stinky bottom

It's okay, you're okay

Be gentle with momma, gentle

Are you ready for some dinnnnnner (or breaaaaaakfast or luuuuuunch)

Just lay you head down and take a little happy nappy

                                                                                        Micah, look at momma...

Micah, you need to stop whining

ahhhh-BOOO, tickle tickle tickle, zerbert!

*note: most of these phrases have their very own little tune to go with them, but i will spare you and you can use your imagination!

Friday, August 26, 2011

5 senses friday: 8.26.11



a baby turning into a boy, a basket of laundry that needs folding, fresh highlights, his first pair of proper pj's, gold nail polish to match a gold watch

lawnmowers in the distance, the squeaky laughs of a happy baby, ceiling fans humming instead of air conditioners, the little suck of water in a sippie cup

the sweetest peaches of the summer, tomato/basil/mozzarella sandwiches, homegrown cucumbers, the sweet chill of ice cream treats

Feeling: a summer coming to a close, excitement for fall building, nostalgia for school days, the desire to stock up on school supplies

Smelling: baby food three times a day, the sweet smell of breast milk on everything, coconutty sunscreen, nail polish remover

*adapted from five senses friday by abbytrysagain - minus her amazing images.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

eucharisteo from yesterday morning


eucharisteo: thanksgiving

bagel and orange juice had in the silence of a morning nap

time to write with belly to bed

morning and evening read over shredded wheat

long sleeve onesie under green big boy T

phone tucked in bra when there are no pockets

baby toenail growing back

a grandma who loves to babysit so i can put color in my hair

giftcard from first mother's day to pay for it

longer than usual nap

dishwasher and clothes washer instead of cracked fingers

medicine that makes the aches go away

husband that works so hard so i can work hard in my home

the ugly-beautiful

it is what the French call

"d'un beau affreux"

or what the Germans refer to as


the ugly-beautiful

Paul Gauguin was known for saying

"le laid peut être beau"

or, "the ugly can be beautiful"

i read these things yesterday, in the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.
It is good, so good, and so rich. i read it slow to savor. to let it sink in.

when i read it, i jotted it down, this concept of the ugly-beautiful and scribbled below it:

child birth
the resetting of a broken bone
the cross

the ugly-beautiful

my list goes on

how much of life is just that - ugly yet beautiful

the refiner's fire

"for you, o God, have tested us
you have tried us as silver is tried
we went through the fire and through water
yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance."

(psalm 66:10-12)

ugly sinners saved by beautiful grace

then i saw this video and the tears welled up.

i can only pray that i will allow the ugly in my life, the ugly that has crept into this world, to become as beautiful as they have.

This was grace - short film from Andrew Laparra on Vimeo.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

two weeks review in pictures

Picnik collage

backyard pool day

crazy daddy

love this face

it's been too long and i have no good excuse

6 months

each day that passed since my last post i meant to write
then a week passed
then another and with every night that i went to bed without writing
i heaped the pressure on myself
and the guilt
of not writing
not recording

but i'm dropping the guilt like a backpack off a kid's back
left at the front door after the first day of school
anxious to get back to the summer fun that was left behind when flip flops were traded for school shoes
and new socks that make summer feet sweat.

the truth is, i've really got nothing new to say.
we have found our routine.
many weeks look much like the one before, except for Micah.
growing, learning new skills almost daily, hourly if you watch closely
that boy turns my mundane days into little adventures on a minute by minute basis.

for one, he's six months old as of last thursday
how did that happen?
how did my little 7 lb 9 oz baby reach 19.1 lbs.
how is he in the 98th percentile for his height?

i'm not in denial as much as amazement.

he is now a belly sleeper through and through
rolls over onto his tummy (but not back again...yet)
and can move and scoot around in a circle before i can blink.
just recently he's been pushing off with his toes when on his belly
i think it won't be long before he figures out how to crawl
but i secretly kind of hope it'll be a while.

i'm still nursing, and we've found a good groove.
he'll take a bottle if needed, but nothing beats momma.
and i'm okay with that. there's something so peaceful about sitting on my bed
him laying on a pillow on my lap
the ceiling fan going and he eats as he holds my hand, twirls the little bit of hair that he has on his head
reaches for my face
or the way he falls asleep eating, burps with his head heavy on my shoulder, like tonight
and all i have to do is lay him in his crib, without a peep - and he's out for the night

he loves his cereal, and he's a fan of every veggie we've given him so far.
tonight we went to the greek festival and my dad let him suck on a lemon
we were all expecting him to make a sour face but he loved it.
he'd reach for it when he'd take it away and kept smacking his cute little lips.

so really, i guess i do have stuff to say
there are always things i want to remember,
about him,
about our days
so i guess i'll keep writing.

thanks for reading.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

i can't get enough of this kid


a few days ago Curtis asked me when i'm really going to start writing again.
it caught me off guard.

'what do you mean?' i asked

'you know, like really writing - not just posting pictures and little stories about Micah.'

'i can't help it,' i responded. 'this is my life now and i'm obsessed with this kid.'

so, i hope you don't mind that Micah, and all things motherhood have kind of taken over my blog recently.

i knew it would happen.

i used to write about infertility and waiting and hoping for the moment i would become a mother. dreaming of how it would happen. where we'd have to travel to meet our baby. what it would be like - this mother love - a feeling that was then still so foreign to me, but i knew would come.

my writing was painful and poetic and drenched in longing.

maybe that's what he's missing. the long thought-out scribblings of a girl on the verge of another world.

i wasn't unhappy, not even discontent, but the waiting was hard. waiting for the next phase with a breath held so long.

but that's not me anymore.

he came and he changed everything.

i feel more at peace and more 'myself' than i ever have.

yesterday as i was feeding Micah some rice cereal at my mom's she gave me a hefty compliment.

'you just floated into motherhood so easily, jess.' she said.

whoa. what do you say to that but laugh it off and remember all the tears in that first week

so i shrugged her off and kept on giving him spoonfuls of that white creamy mush.

i've been waiting for these days of feedings and diapers and walks with a stroller for so long that you'll have to excuse me when i litter this little space with proud pictures of my boy and all the marvelously mundane happenings in our day. it's not much, really, but then again, it is. it's so much. everything really.

the dna of my life has changed. he truly has changed everything.

and i'm rather fond of him and this new life, so you'll have to bare with me as i share just a bit of what's filling my often monotonous, but awfully amazing days.

we've got movement

last week i knew Micah was on the verge of rolling over.
i found him like this


over and over again. then it happened. on monday morning, as i was working at my desk i caught him practically on his belly so i grabbed my phone and caught this

it was so cute and so slow-mo.
i texted it to Curtis and his response was "finally!"

minutes later i caught it again, cuter this time - and with more grunting and whining
(excuse my annoying voice in this one - my excitement must have gotten the best of me!

now he's a rolling machine - although he hasn't yet figured out how to roll back onto his back when he's had enough tummy time.

this is how i caught him the other day


not quite the best use of his playmat but hey - whatev.

and better yet, he's taken to napping on his belly.
it's adorable.
what's not adorable is him waking up screaming bloody murder because i think it scares him that he's kind of stuck belly-down until i come in to get him.

gone are the days of him playing happily in his crib for up to an hour - at least until he figures out how to roll back over, that is.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

motherhood is a calling


"Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for."

Fellow mothers, if you want to read something good - click on the link below and prepared to be challenged...and encouraged. }

Happy Tuesday!

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