Monday, July 11, 2011

testimony

IMG_3107



About a month ago I was asked to share my testimony at church of how i got came to know Jesus.
All summer long they're having one person every sunday morning give their testimony of how they got saved.
And although i am not a public speaker, when they called to ask me to do it, what could i say but okay?
So because i am not comfortable in front of crowds, i typed it out and read it instead.
i thought i would share this with all my blog friends too
i hope it leaves you encouraged and thinking about your own story as well :)
Anyways, this is what i said/read:

***

My mom would tell you I got saved when I was 4

She said we were listening to a kids Christian radio station and I told her to hold on a second. I ran into my room and shut the door, then came out and told her I just prayed and asked Jesus to forgive my sins and come into my heart.

Whether that was the moment of salvation for me or not only God knows, but the evidences of salvation, if any, definitely weren’t personal from then until the summer between jr high and high school.

It was that summer that I went to a Christian summer camp and really felt the Holy Spirit’s presence for the first time. It was during that week of crazy games and nightly evangelical services that I "chose" (or better yet, it was God who was doing the drawing) to get serious about my relationship with God.

I remember starting youth group with a whole new seriousness. And I was grateful for my parent’s testimonies and spiritual leadership.

You see, I was raised in a messianic Jewish household. My dad was Jewish and got saved at age 18 out of a life of drugs. He then met my mom who was also radically saved in her early twenties.

So really, I think my testimony began with the testimonies of my parents. They were first people in either of their families to come to know Jesus (and in my dad’s case the only person). My salvation story began with theirs.

After being saved, my dad became a devout student of the bible and as he came to understand the scriptures, it spilled into the lives of everyone he knew. Once they had my siblings, and me, they began to raise us to submit ourselves to the authority of scripture, with the understanding of God’s sovereignty and the role that God’s election played into each of our salvation stories.

Despite this emphasis, we attended a church that didn’t share this commitment. 

As I started to read and study the bible seriously I knew what I was reading wasn't jiving with what I heard on Sunday mornings.

Incidentally, I was friends with the pastor's son. I remember having debates with him over theology to the point of being called into the pastor’s office, which happened to be his father.

I remember them "encouraging" me to simmer down, trying to get me to understand that the things we were debating, namely the sovereignty of God and the doctrine of election, weren’t THAT important.

I remember sitting in the chair in his office and turning beet red and feeling so upset because in scripture it seemed to be THAT important. To not believe that God was not only in control of everything, but orchestrating everything, was a big deal.

  • How we viewed the migraines my mom and I chronically suffered with was a big deal.
  • How we viewed cancer and the death of believers was a big deal.
  • How we viewed every seemingly “bad” thing that happened, or good thing for that matter, was a big deal.

These were formative years for me as I grew in my relationship with Christ and learned to wrestle with the texts of scripture. I learned that doctrine matters and I wanted to understand all that God had revealed in his word.

After high school, I headed to England to go to YWAM (also known as Youth With A Mission). While there, I remember calling my parents on numerous occasions as I struggled through the nitty-gritty of my faith and the teaching I was hearing.

My dad would email me bible verses to solidify the truths he wanted me to remember and think about while I worked in out in my own relationship with Christ.

When I came home, if I didn’t already know why the Lord led our family to my home church, it was becoming clear.

It was then, on the front steps of the church, I met Curtis.

Now, it wasn’t love at first sight, but what started that day was a deep friendship. He slowly became a good friend to me, but not just to me but to my sister and my parents too.

So, when I chose to head to Africa to become a nanny to a missionary family for a year, he still found his way to my parent’s dinner table.

It was during that time that the theology that I was raised with, slowly became something he adopted as his own.

While away, my parents continued to have my friends over for weekly dinners. They would talk about God and point them back to the texts of scripture.

It was at those dinners that Curtis’ view of God was shaped. And I was thousands of miles away.

Long story short, during that time Curtis and my dad came with a team to serve the missionaries I lived with. And shortly after I came home, we started dating.

I saw in him so much about what I loved in my parents. He was serious about his faith. He would fight for truth at any cost. And he held the knowledge of God’s sovereign will as a truth to celebrate and not fear or shrink from.

That truth, discovered in God’s word, has been my anchor. That God’s sovereign will, over not only my moment of salvation but also over my entire life is a reality to cherish and not dismiss.

  • I can either view chronic migraines as Satan’s work or a chance to trust that Christ can use pain for his glory.
  • I can view family members struggling in their faith as the place where God lost control, or the place where He alone can redeem once again.
  • And I can view our struggles with fertility as a chance to doubt God loves me or to believe that He shows his love for me by forgiving my sins and not only by the gifts he gives me.

But good gifts he has given me. Not only for the chance to be raised in a Christian home, but a home with parents who cherished the truths of the Scriptures that to some may seem hard to swallow. 
He had me meet my husband in the most unlikely of churches, and just when we had surrendered our “right” to get pregnant and began to pursue adoption instead, he surprised us by answering our original prayer with the gift of getting pregnant with Micah. 

He is teaching me to hold my plans in the palm of my hand loosely and trust His promises fully. Because ultimately, we make our plans, but His are the ones that come to pass, and in that truth from His Word I can rest secure.

1 comments:

Walking in the rain said...

Jess, i loved reading your testimony. thanks for sharing, it makes me miss you :) thank you for being a passionate example of a true woman of God!

 
Template by suckmylolly.com - background image by elmer.0