Monday, June 20, 2011

this momma likes naptimes on mondays

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napping is not micah's strong suite
sleeping 12+ hours a night is
but napping, nah, he's not so fond.

on mondays i work.
i catch up on dishes and laundry from the weekend,
i nurse and i work
i wouldn't say micah gets ignored per se
but it's probably the day of the week where he gets the most alone play time

i just wish he napped better, or longer, or at all.

actually, today wasn't so bad.
some days he can go all day on one measly 20 minute nap
today he got about 3

lately, i can sense when he needs a nap before he konks out
about an hour and a half after he wakes up in the morning he starts to get fussy
so into the crib he goes
usually he will happily babble  for almost a half an hour
then like clockwork he starts to whine
maybe cry for a minute or two
and then nothing
silence

and every morning that we're home
i don't have to look at him to know what he looks like
pacifier long fallen out of his mouth onto the sheets
both arms stretched up over his head
knees sprawled apart with the soles of his feet touching one another.

he is a predictable little sleeping boy.

but even though i know what he looks like sleeping,
sometimes i still sneak into his room and watch him.

like today, i heard the cry before slits for eyes and although i knew sleep was near
i walked into his room to watch the shift take place.
as his eyes were starting to close i caught his eye
and as both eyes opened
the biggest smile spread across his face

and i didn't care that i had prolongued sleep
i'm his momma and i can do what i want.

so i walked over, leaned down to kiss his belly, his forehead, his nose
and let him fall asleep to the sound of my whispers.

today he was so peaceful, instead of tiptoeing out of his room, i sat in the rocker and watched him
i wished i could crawl into his crib and lie next to him
wrap around him in his cool, dark room for the half an hour i know he'd be silent.

but instead, it is a monday, so i tip toed downstairs to work
to write and pretend i'm not missing out on the quietest moments of our day
drowning out the rhythmic hum of the dryer for fingers clicking keys
writing words i no longer care much about

right now it's all about paying for our broken garage door
bad brakes
saving for the future
having a cushion

i don't love mondays,
but today i am sure that this is the way God is choosing to provide for us now
for the extras and the unexpected
so i will like them more than i used to.

i will happily sacrafice 'me time' today for that end
and be grateful for the times today when i can watch him sleep
grateful that i can be the one that gets to go in and settle him back down when he startles himself awake
i get to be the one that he smiles for when he wakes up and i'm there
already in his room before his eyes open
the one that hears him stirring before he starts to cry
the one that gets to wipe the gook from his right eye, the one with the clogged tear duct
and the one that gets to kiss his belly button while changing the 10th diaper of the day.

i may not love mondays or love spending them hoping micah will nap so i can work,
but it more than pays off on tuesdays, when he's all mine and there's nothing left to do but
read books and take walks and see friends and play.

so i guess i should get back to work since he's been asleep for an hour and Curtis is downstairs with friends and i'm sitting in bed with an iced decaf coffee and my laptop blogging when i should be working so we can play tomorrow.

*note on the photos: no joke, this is how micah fell asleep at my mom's a while ago. he was playing on part of his bundle me car seat cover, and just konked out - so we left him right where he was...creepily cute!

2 comments:

evan said...

cuteness.

The Harringtons said...

you are an incredible mom! I love how you take it all in.

 
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