Tuesday, May 31, 2011

nothing better than a laughing baby

This weekend we were in Toronto
Between hanging with family and wedding festivities, we caught this on video:

I present to you Micah's first laughs!

I think I've watched it at least 10 times already...

Thursday, May 26, 2011

true that


A perfectly kept house is a sign of a misspent life.
-Mary Randolph Carter

*Curtis may not agree, but i sure do.

like right here, we could have been inside the house
cleaning, scrubbing, sweeping
but instead we were outside,
under our new umbrella
on a blanket
reading and enjoying the weather
and each other 
and the view of that pooper-scooper leaning up against that
disgustingly old plastic chair

i do not have a perfectly kept house
it's not an embarrassing house
but perfect, it is not
but we enjoy it 
and enjoy each other more.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

on motherhood: they said it better

+ a little Micah video for your viewing pleasure...

The strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.
-Barbara Kingsolver

A mother's love for her child is like nothing in the world. It knows no law,
it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.
-Agatha Christie

Mothers are instinctive philosophers.
-Harriet Beecher Stowe

If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite,
something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to
find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more
eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby
when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the
sun shining on its cradle.
-Vincent van Gogh

A babe in the house is a wellspring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love,
a resting place for innocence on early, a link between angels and men.
-M.F. Tupper

Laughter is like changing a baby's diaper. It doesn't permanently
solve any problems, but it makes things more acceptable for a while.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

30 - 1 = me


Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
-Helen Keller

i am loving the adventure that my 29th year has brought. 
now i'm on my way to 30 and i love it.
call me crazy but i love getting older
every year has been better than the next and i'm enjoying this daring, dizzying adventure

Monday, May 23, 2011

a case of the mondays







"Easter is over but being faithful in the routines, on the Mondays
after the Sundays, is important. It is as
inversely important as it seems unglamorous."

-Stephen Nichols

I used to hate Mondays.
The start of another work week.
the office grind
i don't think i was ever really cut out for it
i liked what i did
but being stuck in an office five days a week wasn't exactly my cup of tea

now i must say, i kinda like Mondays
i never thought i'd be able to say that
the get-it-done days as they've become
whether it's writing work, cleaning the house
catching up on a weekend's worth of laundry and dishes
or starting a new week with lots of semi open-mouthed, wet kisses from an
increasingly attentive and smiley boy

me and Mondays are no longer fighting
(hear that Kate)
and actually, i think we may now be life-long friends.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

just a few things I like...actually I love, about nursing



The way Micah looks up at me while nursing, we lock eyes and he holds
my gaze without blinking and out stares me

The way he kind of hums to himself between swallows, like a very content exhale

The way he smiles, mid suck, as he's about to drift asleep

The way I lean down to kiss whatever part of him my mouth can reach,
and if my lips can't reach I lick his little finger, or cheek or

The way he sometimes gets too much milk and coughs, unlatches to catch
up and gives me a big milk mustache grin

The way his hand grasps my shirt, or bra or the skin of my chest

The way he covers his eyes with his curled up balls of fists when he's
almost done eating

Or stretches his arms up over his head right before I lift him up to burp

Or the way the little bobble head burps up on the cloth on my shoulder
and then plops his face in it, and the way the curdler milk sticks to
every eyebrow and lash

And the way, sometimes, he falls asleep while eating, and I just
gently push away and watch him sleep on my lap, sometimes quietly
moving him to his crib, and sometimes just enjoying the weight of him
on my lap

Friday, May 13, 2011

i can hardly believe it

sleeping baby

I can barely believe that on this day exactly 12 weeks ago Micah was born.
At this very minute actually - 11:12am.
This reality hits me hard as I think about starting work again on Monday.
I'm a little sad, a bit nervous and a whole lot of anxious.

But I really shouldn't be because I'm not actually going back to work.
I'm going to be working from home only 10 hours a week, but still,
just the thought of this change in my newfound routine is really
throwing me off-kilter.

I think the root of my fear is that those hours spent writing will
take away time, focus and energy for my true job.
I take it very seriously and the thought of a distraction from it,
even a paid distraction, makes me cringe.

Sunday night will come and I have a feeling that I'll feel that
familiar tug of what i like to call the Sunday night blues, 
maybe not as strong as my days in an
office, but I'm sure it will be present. 

Then Monday I will wake up and
try to manage this new phase of life with a little less sleep if I
have to and a whole lot of prayer.

stupid blogger

i posted yesterday and had a post all scheduled to go up at exactly 11:12 this morning - 12 weeks to the minute that Micah was born, but something happened with blogger earlier and now they're both gone.
ugh, i don't have the time or the mental capacity to try to recreate what i wrote to commemorate this, my last day of official maternity leave.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

spring walk

spring walk

a couple nights ago we took a walk
the weather was perfect
the route was peculiar
and my shoes were a bit uncomfortable
but my two boys make every little adventure
all the more fun
and photo-worthy

Sunday, May 8, 2011

on my first mother's day as a mother and the two that came before

Today is a day of great joy for me.
My first Mother's Day.
I'm not sure if I could have appreciated what an amazing gift this day
is for me without the sadness and struggle that the last two Mother's
Days have been.

Anyone who has tried unsuccessfully to get pregnant with their first
child knows the heartache that comes with another Mother's Day without
a baby in your arms, or even in your belly. Going to church on
Mother's Day while all the mothers are called on to stand to recieve a
flower or be honored in some other way, was almost as miserable as
going to a baby shower with an empty womb. A poignant reminder of the
one thing you want most but don't have.

I had two Mother's Days like this. Days where I fought back tears, or
anger, jealousy, or all three, reminding myself over and over within a
24-hour stretch that God had a plan for our family and that he hadn't
forgotten about me.

And although last year's Mother's Day was hard, it was different. We
had nearly made the final decision to adopt. So on Mothers Day, I sat
at Curtis' parents old church and we both held that little secret
inside as moms were honored and women around the room were asked to
stand. I wasn't a mother yet, but I knew we were on our way.

So now, as I sit, a year later, I am again flabbergasted by the change
of plans. Our plans, not His. He knew all along that Micah would be
the boy that would make me a mother for the very first time.

Last year, He knew that I would be joining all other moms today when I
didn't have a clue. He knew Micah's birthday before I knew I was
pregnant. And he knew how much joy and thankfulness he would bring
into our family when two became three.

Now that I have a child (literally sleeping in my arms as I type
this),looking back, two years of waiting for him doesn't seem that
long. In the moment, every month seemed like an eternity, and every
period I got during that time felt like a blow to the stomach, but I
would have gladly waited many more years for this one. This boy. The
sleeping baby wearing blue and white and grey like the sky today. The
one breathing softly and audibly laughing in his sleep in my arms
after a good cry tuckered him out.

I would have gladly sat through many more Mother's Day services
waiting patiently for him.
 But I'm sure glad I dont have too.

I am reminded of the verse, "Sorrow may last for a night {or two
years} but joy comes in the morning,"

This morning my sorrow is gone and my heart is full of inexplicable joy.

Happy Mothet's Day to every women who has ever staggered through this
day in May fighting back tears of sadness or loss. To every woman
waiting for their time of celebration, and to every mother who has the
honor to wake up today to a card, a call or a kiss from those who call
you mom.

What an honor it is to be counted among you.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

i wanna be a baby, they get cool gifts

His new M-I-C-A-H stool from his Nana, Neil, Aunt Ava & Uncle Cary

His other stool from Aunt Tara & fam (he got this a while ago but it's too cute not to show - plus, it continues to prove how much of an owl-fanatic i am!)

His (& Curtis') Easter loot

The burpers made by Aunt Tara (I thought they were too cute to use, so i framed them)

The other handmade embroidery Aunt Tara made just for Micah

We've had this for a while, but i still love it - mobile made by my Aunt Mary (we've got some artsy-fartsy family, don't we)

The bird (and squirrel) banner made by my friend Kati for my shower - it's been up for a while but it still makes me smile

And a post wouldn't be complete without a cute baby pic!

Have a happy Saturday friends!

Friday, May 6, 2011

nicknames and other embarrassing things future girlfriends may like to see

i call him:

Micah Moo
Cottage cheese breath
Poop butt
Monk head (due to the bald spot that now wraps around his head)
Midget man
Burp face
Stinky pants
Grumpy pants
Crusty eyes
Cuddle mc'cuddleson

and the list goes on and on

and if that's not enough to make any school-aged kid blush with embarrassment, i will include the cutest naked baby picture i could get:

i give you big-belly squishy bottom baby!


and because i think he's just too cute, one more...


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