Thursday, April 21, 2011

dread and delight

I love the way that little breath breathes
The nearly silent gasp wheeze snort by nightlight glow
Quickening and slowing to his lactose dreams
Head over my shoulder
Arms swadled down by his sides like the trusting
Cacooned baby that he is

This morning we go to his two month checkup
The one with the shots
And I'm anxious in the night
Less from the idea of his momentary pain
Sad to admit
But from the possibility of my nervous
Protective reaction
I am not a crier but with this boy I have surprised myself before
So we will see

I'm excited for him to be weighed
This dead weight in my arms
The weight that breaks the blood vessels in the crease of my elbow when I carry him like that in his carseat too long
My guess is 10-11 lbs

My chubby bunny was too big for a little 3-6 month old gerber onesie yesterday
The whole pack of them
They looked small but still
Just the thought makes me whoozy
With dread and delight

Sent from my iPhone (at 3:47 am)


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