Monday, April 25, 2011

baby's first easter

Easter 2011

it was a great day. a great weekend too.
a good friday service
a sunny saturday complete with lunch on a patio with a grandma and a great grandma
a walk around the neighborhood and a little bit of lounging around before dinner with some family.
and easter sunday started early with a 5am wakeup call
the caller being a cute little bunny named Micah with a little fuzzy bum.
but we couldn't be upset because he slept eight hours and was ready to party.
the day started with easter treats for my boys and gifts from grandma and other family,
a little photo shoot as he learns how to sit up straight in his bumbo chair,
reading the book {little colt's palm sunday} followed by the real easter story,
a wonderful church service and a houseful of family for dinner at my aunt and uncles.
the bunny feet were a hit
and he must've had fun on his first easter because he slept another 8 hours last night and so did i!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

dread and delight

I love the way that little breath breathes
The nearly silent gasp wheeze snort by nightlight glow
Quickening and slowing to his lactose dreams
Head over my shoulder
Arms swadled down by his sides like the trusting
Cacooned baby that he is

This morning we go to his two month checkup
The one with the shots
And I'm anxious in the night
Less from the idea of his momentary pain
Sad to admit
But from the possibility of my nervous
Protective reaction
I am not a crier but with this boy I have surprised myself before
So we will see

I'm excited for him to be weighed
This dead weight in my arms
The weight that breaks the blood vessels in the crease of my elbow when I carry him like that in his carseat too long
My guess is 10-11 lbs

My chubby bunny was too big for a little 3-6 month old gerber onesie yesterday
The whole pack of them
They looked small but still
Just the thought makes me whoozy
With dread and delight

Sent from my iPhone (at 3:47 am)

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

the wear and tear (literally)


i read {this}
while sitting at the salon, waiting for my highlights to be done this morning.
it kind of made me get that queasy feeling you get when you remember something you'd rather not, and it kind of made me self-consciously tear up a bit as i sat in the chair surrounded by other women with tin foil on their head's too.
either way, i found myself reading along because i identified with it - all of it...even the mirror part. ugh.

the fact of the matter is.
just when you think you think you'll never be the same
you are
and you aren't simultaneously.

but when that nugget falls asleep with his face resting on your neck smelling of self tanning lotion and aveda hair products
you know it doesn't really matter and all is right with the world. and your husband will love your still semi-jiggly belly still marked by the linea negra (and now the orange glow of self tanner) and all the other slightly unpleasant, but mostly beautiful things that mark the fact that a life was created and was pushed out, full-throttle, marking a birthday and a date you will never forget.

not all stays the same when a human makes their grand entrance,
but all is better for it. because of it and in spite of it.

Monday, April 18, 2011

two months under the belt





people say that time flies by with kids
and until today i don't think i really believed them
or understood what they were talking about
and although i know that two months is pretty much nothing
i know the next time i blink it will be two years :(

so, what are some of the things i have learned in the last month?


that 8 hours of sleep is far superior to three hours of sleep
that spit-up washes out of everything
that you can never have enough pacifiers or burp cloths around the house
that baby smiles are awesome
and his cry isn't bothersome unless it's at 2am or i'm hungry
that i should never forget my iphone or a jug of water when i go to nurse in the night
that Mea is a very gentle puppy
that stay at home mommyhood is not boring in the slightest
but just the opposite, it is the hardest, busiest, most rewarding job i've ever had
that I love him and his daddy more than i ever thought possible 
and that love, awe and contentment only grows and grows with each passing month

*a few of these were taken and modified from a facebook post by a friend this morning who has a two week old baby girl.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

this was the picture i was talking about in the last post

There's no good title for babble...

Today I cancelled plans.
I never do that.
I was up too long in the night.
It hasn't happened in a while so it threw me off my game.
There is no predictability in this parenting game.

Micah has begun to smile.
Not often, perhaps once or twice a day but when you get one you know
your golden.
Yesterday I caught a slight laugh on my iPhone and I kept looking at it all day.
It was kind of like getting a smile all day long.

Now he's sleeping next to me in his vibrating chair.
I write this on the iPad.
After he eats we're meeting my sister at our hair salon.
Our friend & stylist Carli has yet to meet M so Jen had the idea of
popping by when she's getting all her hair chopped off.
She's braver than me.

I need a haircut so bad.
Color even worse.
It's embarrassing to go to the salon with such a mess on your head.
My sister said they're gonna have to have a hair intervention for me.
I sure hope so.
But I have a good excuse.
He's sleeping right next to me.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

yesterday to today


Yesterday I woke from a 12 hour sleep (disturbed only once)
I nurse in front of an open sun porch door (it was warm enough yesterday, but not today)
I dressed my boy in plaid cargo shorts and a polo shirt (pretending it was summer)
I mosied around Target with my mom (what else is new?)
I bought the biggest water bottle (jug with a straw) i could find for my insatiated thirst for ice waterWe painted with watercolors (and i found it very relaxing)
I made baked spring rolls for dinner (they turned out kind of gross)
I nursed on the couch after dinner (to the sound of Curtis baking, yeah, that's right!)
I ate a cookie-brownie even though my tummy hurt (it was a mistake)
Then I laid on the couch with a husband in sweats and a baby in a white onesie (is there anything better than a baby in a plain white onesie?!)

We watched House and eventually we all went to bed (and stayed in our respected beds - and cribs - all night)
I woke up to nurse once (at 3:30am) and while he went right back to sleep, i had trouble falling back asleep (that never happens) and was up until after 5
luckily he let me sleep until 7:15 and after a few grumpy hours, he's now sleeping soundly in the sling (my neck will surely pay for it later!)
but during that time i have did dishes, painted my toes (yup, i painted my toes with him in the sling!) and now am blogging to the sound of him snoring right under my nose.
this mother-gig is pretty hard, but can be pretty awesome too.

*photo is unrelated, just a picture of my two favorite people taking a walk this weekend.

Friday, April 1, 2011

wishes on a Friday afternoon




I wish I could take a nap but I just can't shut off my mind.

I wish what I saw was exactly how a photo would turn out (it usually doesn't).

I wish I could transcribe my thoughts right onto paper whenever I wanted without running for pen and paper (because I usually don't).

I wish I had more motivation to create (maybe someday soon).

I wish I had a tan.

I wish I had the desire to start reading again (I miss being sucked into a good book).

I wish I didn't get so tired in the evenings (I'd get so much more done).

I wish I didn't have a mirror during the delivery (those images, although remarkable, will forever be singed into my mind).

I wish Micah would smile already (his furrows are cute, but I want to see a grin).

I wish I could take video of all the tiny things I want to remember about his first weeks of life, the images are in my head and I don't want to forget.

I wish i still wrote poetry.

I wish that every baby in every country felt love like I feel for him right now. More than ever before, my heart breaks for all the babies (and kids) without mommies (and daddies).

I wish adoption wasn't so expensive, or confusing or uncertain. I know God will provide and guide us but it still leaves me wishing it all wasn't so daunting.

I wish I had more hours today, to do something, or nothing at all.

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