Saturday, January 15, 2011

how to love someone after 11 (or 7) years...


Find his face across the room over a skillet of eggs; find his eyes, and meet them. 

I did not fight with curtis this morning
(i made him eggs)
Actually, we haven’t really fought for a while now
(knock on wood, I hope I’m not jinxing us)

Feel how his smile fills you up like good bread. 

(i had a bagel, coffee, orange juice)

when asked if I have turned into a crazy-hormone-raging-emotional-pregnant-lady
my sister responded that she thinks I’ve mellowed out
she said she noticed that I’m letting things roll off my back
that she noticed Curtis and I don’t bicker like we used to
more like a brother and sister than 
husband and wife

that was nice to hear

Walk away, walk back, keep walking until you encounter the warmth of his back. Reach out for him even though things are unresolved and will be unresolved again. Wrap your arms around him and press your body close until you can feel his heat through your shirt; through his.

so when I read {this}
although we didn’t have a knock-out, blow-up fight last night
(just the opposite really, we had a wonderful night in our home, getting to know a sweet family with three adorable kids, another on the way)
but whether i could directly relate this morning or not
when I read this post, it resonated with me

Learn to ask questions that don’t assume answers.

Not just the language (which is beautiful)
but the idea behind choosing to love
Even when it’s hard… even after eleven years
(we’ve been together almost 7 ½ years – not quite 11 but getting there)

Questions that are empty like a jar before rain. Questions that offer neutrality: how can I help? What do you need? How do you feel?

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding,
mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving.
It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than
perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.
-Ann Landers

A decade feels short and long, just as days often do. Reach for his hand and feel his pulse.


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