Monday, November 22, 2010

a closet full of clothes

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Curtis counted my pants the other day
Jeans to be more specific
I won’t tell you the number he threw in my face
But it was a lot
(although he was counting jeans and skirts – it was still extravagant)

In silence I took his criticism
And rebuke of my large wardrobe
He’s right
I have a lot of clothes
Not just jeans
But shoes and jackets and scarves and rings

The truth is, I love getting dressed.
Even pregnant, I feel like what I wear expresses a part of who I am
In a way that other things do not.

This is the reason I have not gotten rid of my duck skirt from my days at Anthropologie
Even though those at work would probably ridicule it
I love it
It is a part of my history. my past.

I have many articles of clothing like that
Clothes hold memories for me
Much like others find nostalgia in other possessions.

But I am not a packrat
Although Curtis would probably disagree.
I do not hold onto pieces I no longer wear

A few times a year I purge
Not an extreme purge to minimalism
(I will never be a minimalist as much as I may try)
But I go through stacks of everything
Try on everything
and usually end up with a few garbage bags full of giveaways.

This past month it was purses, sweaters and boots.
I got rid of everything I no longer “needed” or liked or wore.
The purge still left me with a lot in my closet.

I like options, choices
I get dressed based on my mood
That is why it is so hard for me to pack for a trip
I usually pack three times as many shirts as I’ll need
because who knows what I’ll be in the mood to wear when away
(I’m the same way with books when I travel)

It’s funny that in my closet with so many options
I am feeling rather minimal about what I want to buy in terms of maternity ware

It took me almost five months to break down and buy some jeans
And now I can’t imagine my life without the  blue stretchy band that’s letting me breathe easier,
Suck in a little less.

But something in me isn’t letting me expand my maternity wardrobe far past a pair of black maternity tights
(which I didn’t even buy), a few pairs of jeans (two of which were a gift from my grandma) and a couple of target maternity camis long enough to cover the blue band of the jeans.

It all just seems like a waste for a time frame so brief.
I am trying to make do with the clothes I have and a few items loaned from a friend
And I think I’ll be set. I hope I will be.
I was talking to a stranger the other day and mentioned this aversion to buying maternity clothes.
I told her of my goal to only buy a few pairs of jeans, and to make everything else i already own work.
she just smirked at me and said,
When you're in month 8, let me know how that's workin' for you.
Although I am dreading winter without the luxury of being able to button my coat (because I don’t want to splurge on a maternity coat I’ll only wear for a few short months)

I’m sure I’ll break down and add a few maternity items to my well-rounded wardrobe.
But until I do, I’m sticking with my current closet.
And trying not to alter my non-pregnant style too much
At least not until i'm so big i just won't care anymore...
but i know myself and i doubt that will ever happen.

2 comments:

Amanda Kate said...

Our clothing philosophy sounds much the same these days, although I struggle with being content. I have so much.

You always dressed so nicely in high school and had your own flare. You and Jen had an Old Navy jacket/wind breaker that I remember to this day. It was a burnt orange color and I wanted it in the worst way. I can remember mom saying, "But you already have a jacket!" Apparently, she just did not get it.

jess said...

haha - i remember i was such a sporty tomboy :) you must've just had worse taste than me!

 
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