Monday, October 4, 2010

a post at random


This weekend i read {this} on a blog i follow called Flux Capacitor:

Sometimes love is most romantic in it's most practical forms. It is the mundane acts of simple lives that can end up encompassing the true heart and soul of a family, the step and step and step again dullness of daily life that hard work and sacrifice can illuminate into something far more beautiful and real and moving than any flowers, parties or fancy gifted presents or moments can do. Everything is illuminated. 

Yesterday i pretty much slept the day away.

I took a nap during football that I was trying hard not to take.

Then I woke up feeling queasy for the first time in well over a month.
So I reluctantly left my husband alone on the couch to watch football, study and fend dinner for himself as I went up to bed at 6pm.

At around 8 he gently woke me up with crackers in his hand, urging me to eat something.
I didn't want to but I knew he was right. I needed food in my empty stomach. 

He then let me go back to sleep without making me feel guilty.

I slept until 6:23 this morning.

Curtis was already up and out the door. He had already walked the dog and had kissed me goodbye as my legs were still a tangle of sheets and pillows under the covers.

I instinctively put my hand to my belly trying to feel for something.

Last Wednesday, as i was home sick with a migraine, i felt the baby move for the first time.
Less the feeling of butterflies and gas bubbles than a slow rolling, waves of motion in my abdomen. It was amazing. Still is really. 

This weekend i could've sworn that i felt him (or her) move my hand that was resting on my belly. I think it was just my imagination, but i hoped it was for Curtis' sake. I want to share this with him.

Last week this pregnancy became that much more "real." I want it to be as real for him as well.

Friday we go for my monthly OB appointment. This is the big one. This is the ultrasound where we (hopefully) find out the sex of this little moving one inside. This is when it becomes just a little bit more real. This is when this child officially becomes our son or our daughter. This is when my heart explodes just a little bit more. This is when we see our baby as more than a little six week spot on a screen. 

Sometimes love comes in the most mundane acts and circumstances, the dull moments and the monotonous days. But sometimes love comes in the silent, earth shattering seconds when everything changes, when life as we know it becomes all about that little form on a dark screen.


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