Friday, October 22, 2010

a day redeemed


Wednesday wasn’t the best day.
I was cranky
I had a really long, slow and boring day at work,
So to fill that part of my usually busy brain,
I found a hundred other things to fill that space that’s usually preoccupied by clients and words and meetings.
Unfortunately I filled it with mostly anxious thoughts, worries, feelings of being overwhelmed with all that’s coming up in the next two months
Everything I have to plan and everywhere we have to go and pack and buy and do.
The mental to do list became a mile long as I felt anxiety over pretty much everything in life right now
Except this baby.
Probably the thing I should feel the most anxious about, I am not in the slightest.
I guess that’s good, right? Or maybe bad.
Naïve maybe
But in the hours of boring work monotony, I filled that quiet, content piece of myself with a million marbles of
Fear and doubt and reluctance.
Then the baby started pummeling me as I was sitting at my desk attempting to work
And it hurt
And I was uncomfortable and just wanted to go home.
And eventually it was five o’clock and I did
And stopped for milk and finally got home and
Cleaned up puppy barf on the floor
Then finished making some white bean and ham soup I had started earlier
And opened the mail and took a shower and sat down feeling like crap.
The boy was still at it.
The ligament pains were killer and I think I was literally growing by the minute
Being stretched and pulled
And I had to poop
And I was feeling yucky and queasy for the first time in weeks, maybe months
Then curtis got home with his shoulders full of stress and anxiety and exhaustion
And eventually as he settled in to study, I just had to go to bed.
It was only 8:30.
But he followed me upstairs
And brought the dog
And layed next to me
As Mea ran circles around our duvet
And begged us to rub her belly
And I rubbed hers as he rubbed mine
And we talked and laughed and
The laughing hurt but I didn’t care
The muscles in my stomach tightened and ached
But we just kept on laughing
My whole family was cozy on the bed with me
And the day was almost over and I was ready for another fresh start
A new day
Then curtis turned off the light
Took the dog in his arms
After she tried to avoid him by sitting on my face
and went downstairs to study
Leaving me warm and cozy under sheets and blankets already warmed with body heat and laughter
And I drifted off to sleep feeling tired but better
And somehow
In those few moments of laughter and the slap happy silly that only comes with
Utter exhaustion
We had redeemed a really crappy day
Both of us
Scratch that
The three of us
(four if you count Mea)


Curtis said...

And for those of you who don't know, Mea is our sea otter you see on my shoulder in the picture.

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