Thursday, September 23, 2010

there is no sadness in the end of summer

summer nights

By all these lovely tokens September days are here,
With summer's best of weather
And autumn's best of cheer.
-Helen Hunt Jackson

I love Summer,
I look forward to Summer all through Winter and Spring
The warmth on my face
The shedding of bulky coats and dry skin
Chapped from snow and wind and hibernation

But once July rolls to August
I’m ready for Fall.

Autumn feels like home.

Especially this Autumn
When the heat was as stale as the crackers by my bed.
the nausea as familiar as the smell of sprinklers and cut summer grass

Last week was absolutely lovely.
Mid 70’s and sunny.
This week has been balmy again
And stubborn jackets and layers have made hot flashes a familiar
Part of my everyday

Last Sunday, as Curtis and my dad were working on our house
I took off my sweater, and sat in the front yard
Amidst power tools and saw dust
And tipped my chin up to face the sun
Closed my eyes
Took a deep breath and sat
To the hum of the drill, the saw, the cars driving by
looking at my posture in the midst of construction

then I got up and pulled out my perennials to much chagrin
who was I kidding,
they’d been dead for weeks
maybe more

I quit watering
Mere weeks after planting them
When I started getting sick
They became neglected

Just another reminder that summer was over

Our last summer as a family of two
Beginning our last Autumn as a dynamic duo

But there is no sadness in this

I am ready.

So ready.

And eager.

And anxious.

There is no sadness in the end of summer
Or the end of an era of just the two of us.


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