Saturday, September 25, 2010
on pregnancy cravings and other myths
Posted by jess at Saturday, September 25, 2010 6 comments
Friday, September 24, 2010
the size of my palm
of course it wasn't
Posted by jess at Friday, September 24, 2010 2 comments
Thursday, September 23, 2010
there is no sadness in the end of summer
Posted by jess at Thursday, September 23, 2010 0 comments
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
a week in the life of...well, me.
- I am using a rubber band on my jeans (although I can still zip most of my pants, this really does make it much more comfortable, especially while sitting at a desk all day -- makes me laugh every time I use it though)
- I bought Target’s version of the Bella Band (I’ve worn it once and am not convinced it will really help my pants stay up while unbuttoned and unzipped)
- I have gotten to the point that I can’t sleep on my stomach anymore (makes me kind of happy that I’m starting to show – luckily I’m not a belly sleeper anyways…not sure what I’m going to do when I can’t sleep on my back anymore)
- I am learning to deal with the rare migraine sans migraine medicine (and let me tell you, it sucks and yes there usually are tears involved)
- My new best friend in an anti-nausea drug called Zofran (it’s also used to treat the nausea in chemo patients and it’s like a little magic pill of love)
- With the urging of my mom, I started my first baby sweater (the yarn and pattern were a gift from my aunt when she thought we were still adopting – and because we are, eventually, I am making it with that little one in mind)
- As of Sunday, we now have new back steps and a lovely hard wood floor in our entry hall and coat closet thanks to my talented father and helper husband (they both have been projects on our list for at least a year and makes me so happy to be able to cross them off my house to do list)
- I made a delicious (if I do say so myself) eggplant parmesan a few days ago (of which we just enjoyed the last bit of leftovers)
- I also made brownies (of which I have proudly only eaten one)
- I weighed myself tonight, and still weigh two pounds less than I did pre-pregnancy, I really don't under how this is possible after not using the bathroom for almost two weeks, I was sure I gained at least a few.
- On Saturday I will have reached the end of my fourth month of pregnancy and enter into month number five with the hope that it's all uphill from here. (the last few months have been hard. very, very hard)
- I have again slid into slacker blogger status (something I am planning on changing)
Posted by jess at Tuesday, September 14, 2010 0 comments
Sunday, September 5, 2010
book review: Love & War
We must love one another or die.
-Auden
Love is worth fighting for.
Since becoming pregnant i have thought a lot about the fact that marriage only gets harder with the addition of children. It, of course, is not a deal-breaker, but the antie goes up and the stakes get that much higher.
And as excited as i am to enter into this new stage of our marriage, i know it will be a whole new level of "Love & War."
So, now, in the next six-ish months of preparation for parenthood, i have entered a time where our marriage has become my priority. Because, as one friend so graciously reminded me, i will never be less busy than i am right now, and the habits i want in motherhood, especially in early motherhood, are the habits i must form right now, before becoming a parent.
so i am committed to putting my husband first, loving him even when he is unloveable (which is seldom) and when i don't feel like loving (which is much more often) and forgiving him without exception.
If a happy marriage is the union of two forgivers, then i want to make sure that i hold up my end of the deal.
Auden said, We must love one another or die, and i believe that. Maybe not physically, but spiritually, mentally and emotionally we will shrivel up and stop being, when we stop loving.
i want my children to grow up knowing that their mom loves their dad more than herself. i'm not there yet, but it's my goal.
I've got six months -- and if this book has done anything for me, it has opened up my eyes wider to my need of grace in order to love.
C.S. Lewis wrote:
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.
Posted by jess at Sunday, September 05, 2010 0 comments
Saturday, September 4, 2010
nursery project: how's it coming?
we live in a modest {ie. little} three bedroom home in a great cleveland suburb. we bought the house before i even had a "real" job. it was a forclosure. it was cheap at the time {about a year or so before the housing crash} for what we paid, we could now afford a house double the size -- but we won't go there, it's just too depressing. All this to say that we love our house and love the fact that it has always given us just enough room.
when we moved in we picked the biggest bedroom for the master, then we each chose the other rooms as our respective closets/ offices. See, our house was built in 1937 and the closets are the size of a refrigerator. I was in charge of the paint selection for all rooms, and based on the bedding we already had for the guest bed, i selected a vibrant brick red/orange for Curtis' office.
On a good day, this is what the room looked like:
When we decided to adopt, i began a huge reorganizing project to clear out this room and share "my room" with the man in order to start on a nursery for our little Ethiopian boy. You may remember me blogging about cleaning the basement and moving half of my stuff down there to make room for Curtis' stuff.
By the time the "red room" was cleared and cleaned we found out we were pregnant.
Still, we needed a nursery, and probably in less time at that, so i got to work, mulling over paint samples and beginning to envision "baby's room."
People made fun of me for wanting to start on this room so soon, but here was my justification.
In late August, Curtis would start his last semester of classes up. He would be gone four nights a week and with studying on the weekends, i wanted to take the big task of painting off his plate to worry about. Plus, i didn't want to wait until he was graduated in December to begin the nursery. So naysayers were silenced and i picked the paint and we got stared.
Unfortunately we were so on a roll one weekend that i got no pictures of the progress. But here is what it looked like all painted and fresh. (note: when we decided to adopt, we began to receive many generous gifts of used furniture and baby items...the crib was a gift from my in-laws, given sooner than we needed because they were moving)
The paint color was called Burnished Metal by Behr. It was between that and a color called Dolphin and so in the end, we (ie. I) went with the brighter of the two although they were extremely similar.
My goal was a very neutral backdrop to a bright nursery. I love the look of crisp white walls, but that just wasn't for me, so i chose what i thought was my version of a white wall. pale, pale grey. Curtis was unsure, some made fun of me for choosing grey in a baby's room. But i love it.
The following pictures are of the room as of a week ago. I placed all the toys we have on top of the dresser (from our guest room set) and placed my favorite Anthropologie pillow in the crib. It's sparse but clean and the perfect backdrop for some inspiration.
Then my sister declared that she had a gift for baby P. I wondered what it would be. When i finally saw her, before i opened the bag she told me that she saw this and knew she had to get it. Then i saw it and i knew why...
We now have our first item of baby clothes...I have promised to buy not an item until we find out the sex (on October 8th!) And although i have been tempted upon seeing a few things, i have restrained. Other than a few garage sale purchases (a baby bjorn snuggly, a swing and running stroller) in the last couple months that totaled only about $50, i have purchased nothing until i spotted this rug on Ikea.com
I had been browsing rugs for a few weeks and everything was either pink, blue or very very beige and neutral. i really wanted something bright and fun and not my style at all. i got it in my mind and everything was falling significantly short of what i had in mind. until i thought to go on ikea.com. their rugs are inexpensive (some of them) and fun. When i spotted this one, i fell in love. it was just unisex enough, just bright enough, and only $39!
So i texted my mother-in-law who lives 10 minutes from an ikea near Chicago and asked her if she wouldn't mind picking it up for me on her next trip out there. she said she'd go the following day. And better yet, they were coming to cleveland the following week and offered to bring it with them.
Everyone i've showed it to has the same reaction: wow, that's bright. definitely a statement. funky. fun.
Curtis was again, unsure about it, but i loved it. It wasn't as big as i thought it would be, but for 40 bucks i'd make it work.
I want a nursery that is unlike any of the other "earthy" rooms in my home. No brown, no camel, no green or gold...
This is so not my style and i think that's why i like it so much. I've never been a primary color kind of girl, but i think the colors of this rug give us so much potential. I just keep telling curtis, the rug is the statement piece of the room, the whole room will not be this loud!
He just replies by saying, "okay Jess, whatever you say, i trust you, you haven't done me wrong yet."
And that is why (or just one of the reasons) i love that man and am so glad that out of all the men in the world, he will be the father of my children!
He gives me free reign and humors my style!
Posted by jess at Saturday, September 04, 2010 3 comments
encountering the unexpected
The only place I can be is right here, encountering the unexpected with joy.
I read this {here}
today and thought it was apropos to my life right now {and maybe yours too}
I just had to share.
Plus, I haven’t features any of Christina’s writing in a while, but it’s still just as raw and chilling as ever.
Posted by jess at Saturday, September 04, 2010 0 comments
Friday, September 3, 2010
changing body
Posted by jess at Friday, September 03, 2010 1 comments