Monday, August 23, 2010

the baby story, part 3: the shock

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Now, I can’t lie and tell you we weren’t shocked.

If I said we had no other emotions than pure delight I’d be lying.
The idea of putting this adoption on hold literally made our hearts hurt for the first couple days. still does really.

But eventually the initial shock wore off and we were able to see everything with a clearer perspective.
From the beginning we always said that either way would be a win-win situation.

Either we’d adopt, and adopt again, and adopt again and that would be amazing.
Or we’d adopt, then maybe get pregnant one day and that would be equally amazing
Or we’d start the adoption process, get pregnant, put it on hold to have a baby and then start up again when they allowed and that would be amazing too.

All three of these possibilities had crossed our minds multiple times.

We had thought of all the scenarios. We had started round one of Clomid, with (to be honest) less than high hopes.

We thought we knew what God was doing. He was giving us a baby boy. From Ethiopia and then who knows what would come next.

Well, who knows is right.

Clomid must’ve did the trick because mere weeks after we were off and running with the adoption, a tiny little egg was in the process of being fertilized by a tiny little sperm and a baby was being created without us even knowing.

And then – BAM – our image of the next few years of our life changed in an instant with those two shockingly blue lines.

But we have full confidence that God’s ways are far superior to ours and so we trust in his timing.
But sometimes it’s hard is all.
It was hard to trust when we weren’t getting pregnant

And then, why was it also hard to trust when we are?

It seems to make no sense, but it seems to be the plight of all mankind, isn't it?

Lack of trust and faith and full of doubt and pessimism and worry.

Nothing is certain, and nothing is ever as clear as we want it to be, but all is definitely as it should be, this I know to be true.



3 comments:

Mike said...

I am writing to ask for your permission to include your posts on AdoptionExperiences.com and include a link to your blog in our
directory. We would
include a link back to your blog fully crediting you for your work
along with a profile about you listed on AdoptionExperiences.com .
Please let us
know as soon as possible.

Mike@adoptionexperiences.com

Mike Thomas
Editor-in-Chief
AdoptionExperiences.com

Kate Paradis said...

Jess!!! This is so exciting! I just got caught up on blog world - and WOW - best news to see! So happy for you guys!!! :D God is SO good!!

jess said...

that He is!

 
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