Sunday, August 22, 2010

the baby story, part 2: on pregnancy and adoption

feather 3

So, now you know why I have been pretty quiet on this blog of mine for a while now…

Maybe you haven’t even noticed, but those of you that have followed regularly might’ve noticed a steady decline after some pretty regular adoption posting for a while.

That’s because I don’t know how to lie. I can’t. I’m horrible at it. It’s to the point that I can’t even tell half-truths when I need to.

For example, when asked, “How’s the adoption going?”
It’s like torture for me to simply say, “It’s going…it’s a lot of paperwork…” (no lie, but no real information either), I clam up and am tempted to blurt out, “We had to put it on hold for a while, because…WE’RE PREGNANT!”

So I’ve kept my mouth shut, because we didn’t want many people to know at first, and I can’t “lie” and blog like other stuff is going on in my life besides this – because there isn’t anything else right now. this is it. we're having a baby.

Right now it’s all about saltines and pretzels, dum dum suckers and peppermints and ginger ale and the toilet bowl and early bedtimes and exhaustion.

my bedtime has become anywhere from 7:30 to 9 - sad i know, but i honestly can't help it.

So yeah, the secret is slowly getting out. well, actually it pretty much is out -- except on facebook and to the general population at work. so don't post your congrats on facebook just yet -- i'm not ready for the mass announcement...maybe after we hear the heartbeat on Sep 1st...

I’m almost finished with my first trimester and still feeling crummy (to say the least) but can’t complain.

(I told myself I would never complain) This is the answer to a longtime prayer.

A prayer that we thought was being answered through the precious gift of adoption – little did we know! Ha!

And it is, because our desire to adopt isn't going has been burried so deep into our hearts, there’s no way we could dream of letting it go now.

For us, adoption wasn’t simply a means of becoming parents, but a calling. a gift really.
 To be honest, we feel the call now more strongly than ever.

We’ve been saying from the beginning of this adoption journey that we felt like we were pregnant.

Not the nausea or the exhaustion (well, maybe the exhaustion, but nowhere near how tired I am now) but the expectant feeling that we felt when thinking about bringing our baby home.

So now, we just feel like we’re expecting two!

One from my belly and one from a far away land called Ethiopia.

And it’s an amazing feeling to have waited and hoped for so long and now the humility and gratitude that comes with being given two gifts – in the same summer. It’s almost too much to comprehend, really – but more on that later…


CitricSugar said...

Jess that is absolutely fantastic news!! My parents were in the process of adopting a second when she discovered she was pregnant. Once she knew she was going to be a mother regardless, my mother's body relaxed enough for my little sister to happen. That sister is in her second trimester and was so tired during the first one, she needed to add several naps to her schedule. I wish you a ton of health and happiness! (Rumour has it that some women don't get migraines after pregnancy, too...)

Amie said...

CitricSugar has got something there on the headache thing.... mine went away almost completely since I got pregnant! I was able to go off my daily meds and everything! One baby brought my headaches on, and another took them away :) I hope they go away for you too!

jess said...

unfortunately if i'm anything like my mom (and my migraines follow her exact patterns) they will be - mostly - gone until after i'm done breast feeding and then will come back again with a vengeance. but here's to hoping!

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