Monday, February 8, 2010

i am an introvert too

Today I read {this post}, entitled Introvert…That’d Be Me! by Candace over at {Sparkle Power}

Here is a snippet:


***

Yes. I'm an introvert. This isn't news to me. I've been aware of this for quite some time. Recently I've become very tuned into the characteristics of introverts & the way that I behave when I don't get what I need as an introverted person.

Introverts are not shy. They simply process everything internally. Studies have shown that their brains actually operate differently than extroverts. Extroverts think things out by talking. Introverts gain energy from being alone. Extroverts gain energy from being with people. I enjoy social get togethers, but I can only take so much. After a certain amount of time, I'm done. It drains me & in order to get my energy back, I need some time alone. When we've scheduled too much time with friends & family and I haven't allowed for down time, I get super grouchy. When I haven't had time to recharge, I don't really want to be touched & I don't want my kids climbing all over me. Sometimes I feel like a mean, horrible person, but I can't help it. I need just a little bit of time to myself & I feel much more sane, much more energized & I'm ready to love & care for my family again.

 
I'm learning that being aware & attending to this aspect of my personality is really important.

 
Likewise, I'm learning to understand extroverts better as well. They're not repeating themselves a million times just to annoy me. They're actually thinking out loud.


***


Like Candace, I’ve known this about myself for a long time. However, something my mom said to me a week or so ago has gotten me thinking about it again.

Last weekend, while prepping ingredients for {pad thai night}, my mom brought up my blog(s).


I don’t remember exactly what she said, but something to the extent of:

Me and dad have been reading your blogs and wondering to ourselves, who is this writing these posts? Is this our daughter? It just doesn’t sound like you. What’s going on? Are you okay? Why do you seem so happy and thankful lately? Talk to me. I’m just curious, Jess. What’s going on?
When she said it, I took it as a slap in the face, to be honest. I blew her off.

For one, I don’t really like talking about my blog to people in person. I get shy, embarrassed. It feels like an invasion of privacy, which, of course it is not. But secondly, maybe those that aren’t like me don’t understand that I can’t {or choose not to} express myself verbally the way that I process internally and through my writing.

I am an introvert. There, I said it.

Everything that Candace has explained herself as being – I am too {although I am the first to admit, I am a bit shy at times too}.


I am not a verbal processor, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have stuff on my mind. That doesn’t mean that I have nothing to say or that life isn’t affecting me because I don’t always talk about it.


However, it does mean that I don’t express everything that I’m thinking about outloud, or that I sometimes have a hard time getting my point across, or holding up my end of a conversation, or explaining myself fully.

I am a thinker. a writer. But I am not a talker. I use my phone to text and email and occasionally leave a voicemail. I am not a phone-chatter, and those that know me well know not to expect a call from me very often. I am an email-er, a letter-writer, a blogger, journal-er.

And so, if sometimes you learn something new about me by the words that I write, instead of the words that I say, that’s okay.

Actually, it’s better than okay, that’s how I like it.

3 comments:

Maggie May said...

Oh dear. I just pray my mom doesn't read mine, or doesn't tell me if she does.

david said...

hey there daughter..excellently put. how did a daughter of mine become such a person . its so wonderfull that you can be so in touch with yourself. Your your mothers daughter. i love your writing and your depth and that must mean i love you.. Dad.. talk to you soon,,oh i mean read you soon. keep blogging. i gotta find someone to talk to.

david said...

this is almad iread your blog all the time. i love you insight, your a great writer. One of the few people i trust cause i know you tell it straight and true like your blog. i love and respect you so much, really your hubby is ok too:)

 
Template by suckmylolly.com - background image by elmer.0