i made the mistake when we first started dating, of telling Curtis that i didn't like flowers. at the time i think it was true. they seemed wasteful, generic, expensive. Now, with a home of my own, seeing fresh flowers on the counter or the table seems like a luxury, even if it's just a juice glass full of wild flowers.
Luckily, he's ignored my anti-flower comments from years past. It is not a gift i receive often, but because of it, i think i appreciate them more when they come.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
love on a saturday morning
Posted by jess at Saturday, February 27, 2010 2 comments
Friday, February 26, 2010
the difference a day can make
every day is so similar to the one before that my days are jumbled
mingled together like a palmful of necklaces.
all clasps and chains and charms
in a web of metal mess and constant confusion.
did I wash my hair yesterday?
when did my last period start?
how many weeks until spring's subtle entrance?
my glances at the clock are often and
come without warning but carry a sigh
a chain-linked pendant pocket watch
telling me the time of day - but is it yesterday or today?
three o'clock yesterday is the same today.
desk and pen and keyboard typing
the tap of a single letter measures the seconds
words equal minutes
and for hours, the pages churned and
stacked and staggered on my desk, tell of progress,
as the necklace around my neck sways and beats against my chest
in a steady rhythm in time with the second hand
i finger a locket engraved with the words
also written in cursive next to my bed
patience
trust
forgiveness
holding all the moments I've locked
and placed in compartments
tidily and chronologically
longing
grief
anticipation
grace
it's tiny diameter is the width of my soul
but the depth
well,
that travels
much
deeper
a pendulum
of
now
and
later.
Posted by jess at Friday, February 26, 2010 0 comments
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
les petits riens de la vie
Posted by jess at Wednesday, February 24, 2010 2 comments
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
winter weary
Posted by jess at Tuesday, February 23, 2010 1 comments
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
before and after + a love story
Curtis insisted that he take before and after photos of my hair. So I blow dried my hair and then let him take the before. He made me frown because that's what he said all before pictures look like.
I then waited the 30 seconds for the Chi to heat up to a whopping 400 degrees then went to town on my mane. Photos two and three are the afters. There is no comparison to my old flat iron. I think I'm in love.
This is a Valentine's Day love story if i've ever known one!
Posted by jess at Wednesday, February 17, 2010 1 comments
Saturday, February 13, 2010
thursday + a mystery
Posted by jess at Saturday, February 13, 2010 3 comments
Monday, February 8, 2010
i am an introvert too
Today I read {this post}, entitled Introvert…That’d Be Me! by Candace over at {Sparkle Power}
Here is a snippet:
***
Yes. I'm an introvert. This isn't news to me. I've been aware of this for quite some time. Recently I've become very tuned into the characteristics of introverts & the way that I behave when I don't get what I need as an introverted person.
Introverts are not shy. They simply process everything internally. Studies have shown that their brains actually operate differently than extroverts. Extroverts think things out by talking. Introverts gain energy from being alone. Extroverts gain energy from being with people. I enjoy social get togethers, but I can only take so much. After a certain amount of time, I'm done. It drains me & in order to get my energy back, I need some time alone. When we've scheduled too much time with friends & family and I haven't allowed for down time, I get super grouchy. When I haven't had time to recharge, I don't really want to be touched & I don't want my kids climbing all over me. Sometimes I feel like a mean, horrible person, but I can't help it. I need just a little bit of time to myself & I feel much more sane, much more energized & I'm ready to love & care for my family again.
I'm learning that being aware & attending to this aspect of my personality is really important.
Likewise, I'm learning to understand extroverts better as well. They're not repeating themselves a million times just to annoy me. They're actually thinking out loud.
***
Like Candace, I’ve known this about myself for a long time. However, something my mom said to me a week or so ago has gotten me thinking about it again.
Last weekend, while prepping ingredients for {pad thai night}, my mom brought up my blog(s).
I don’t remember exactly what she said, but something to the extent of:
Me and dad have been reading your blogs and wondering to ourselves, who is this writing these posts? Is this our daughter? It just doesn’t sound like you. What’s going on? Are you okay? Why do you seem so happy and thankful lately? Talk to me. I’m just curious, Jess. What’s going on?
When she said it, I took it as a slap in the face, to be honest. I blew her off.
For one, I don’t really like talking about my blog to people in person. I get shy, embarrassed. It feels like an invasion of privacy, which, of course it is not. But secondly, maybe those that aren’t like me don’t understand that I can’t {or choose not to} express myself verbally the way that I process internally and through my writing.
I am an introvert. There, I said it.
Everything that Candace has explained herself as being – I am too {although I am the first to admit, I am a bit shy at times too}.
I am not a verbal processor, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have stuff on my mind. That doesn’t mean that I have nothing to say or that life isn’t affecting me because I don’t always talk about it.
However, it does mean that I don’t express everything that I’m thinking about outloud, or that I sometimes have a hard time getting my point across, or holding up my end of a conversation, or explaining myself fully.
I am a thinker. a writer. But I am not a talker. I use my phone to text and email and occasionally leave a voicemail. I am not a phone-chatter, and those that know me well know not to expect a call from me very often. I am an email-er, a letter-writer, a blogger, journal-er.
And so, if sometimes you learn something new about me by the words that I write, instead of the words that I say, that’s okay.
Actually, it’s better than okay, that’s how I like it.
Posted by jess at Monday, February 08, 2010 3 comments
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
a little something to take my mind off of the bad day i've had
I haven't had the best day today. It started with a migraine that literally knocked the wind out of me. The wind and other stuff - but i won't go there. After staying in bed with a trash can until nearly 2pm, i got up and eventually got down to business. But before i did, i found {this}
Someone was reading my mind, or reading my {other blog}.
Luckily it was sold out because I might have had to buy it and I really shouldn’t be buying another journal anyways. I have a stash that I still haven’t used and this one is just too ridiculously cute to pass up.
So, it’s a good thing it’s sold out is all I’m saying.
Posted by jess at Tuesday, February 02, 2010 0 comments
Monday, February 1, 2010
Homemade Pad Thai: The Backstory + Some Link Love
Posted by jess at Monday, February 01, 2010 2 comments