Tuesday, April 29, 2008

around our house

lately we've been dealing with the fact that i have much less of a social need in my life than my husband does. when confronted with opportunity to socialize, for him the answer is and has always been a resounding "yes", and usually i go along with it and usually enjoy myself - but i, as opposed to him, typically return home feeling drained and exhausted. lately i've been confronted with the fact that, there is, in fact, a tolerance level within myself- and a level slowly reaching "full" is upon me as i write, and guiltily i admit i am quickly approaching my limit of sociability.
the root of the problem lies with the fact that i have a hard time saying no. maybe because of a fear of rejection, maybe because i fear hurting someone, but in the end, i find myself saying yes when i want to say no. the hardest thing for me is saying no when i have no excuse but a lack of desire-and now i'm feeling the brunt of my decisions and i am tired and overwhelmed and to be honest, kind of resentful even though it's no one's fault but my own.
so, now i move on and try to live out my newfound perogative-
set my own boundaries and make no excuses.


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