Wednesday, May 9, 2007

welcome to the world of adulthood

tonight we found out that they accepted our offer on the house...
and so now it's more or less ours,
contingent upon the inspection (which we know it won't pass)
oh the joys of future home ownership...!

buying a house almost makes me feel like an adult.
just like i almost felt like an adult when i get married
and when we signed the papers to buy our first new car...
these are the steps one takes on the path of adulthood
and yet for some reason, most days i still feel like a kid,
or a teenager at best, but nothing like a proper adult most days.

once in a while, my life will flash before me and it'll hit me.
i am a grown-up,
married, with a full-time job, attempting to buy a house
and for a second i'll feel seasoned and mature.

then that moment will pass and my usual insecurities
return and i am again that confused little girl,
scribbling my way through life with my purple crayon
(harold anyone?)

but i think i like it better this way,
i don't have everything figured out.
...and i like to dream about our future dream house while planning for
the reality of living in a little white house
with just enough room for the two of us to play grown-up's together.


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