Thursday, May 24, 2007

25 and on her way...

i feel like i am starting my twenty fifth year of my life just where i want to be.
yesterday was the day i have been long awaiting for months.
i put my notice in at work.
i was so excited the night before that i had to take a sleeping pill to go to sleep.

it actually turned out much better than i had anticipated.
most people i work with knew that my leaving was in the works.
i've been interviewing and talking about wanting to get out of there for months now.
however, my store manager had no clue.
(for some reason she doesn't like me and therefore makes it a point to avoid all communication with me)...
so the not knowing i was preparing to quit as soon as the right offer came along was her own fault.
it caught her off guard, but yesterday she at least pretended to be happy for me and my new career move.

It was just such a good feeling to leave that store yesterday knowing that that isn't going to be my life.
i was getting nervous for a while, wondering if i would ever leave. looking at some of the life long retail women that i
work with, praying that wouldn't be me.
and now i know it won' least not for the summer.

this is going to be a good year. i can just feel it.
whether we get the house or not. i've got a husband who thinks the world of me.
a puppy who i just can't get enough of, a new job i can't wait to start and a saviour who takes away
my daily sins (which are many)!
i am so extremely blessed today.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

another big change

lately i've been feeling so extremely blessed...
i've got a wonderful husband who loves me and provides for the majority of our family's needs (my job chips in a smidge)
we've come across a great house that we are on the path to buying.
we've just added a new member to our tiny family...a puppy named mea whom we both love!
and i've even come to be greatful for my not so wonderful job.

God has given us so much that we are so completly unworthy of and tonight
i am reminded of it once again.
I was offered an internship at a consulting firm that i interviewed with a few months ago,
doing what i want to do, writing and editing. can it get any better than that?!

so this is it, my prayers leaving anthropologie look like they are finally being answered.
and it's really funny, or not really funny, but so...God. just when i finally make peace with the fact
that the Lord has placed me in an aweful job with aweful management for a reason, that is when i am
allowed to leave.
i love that. that is so god's way with things.
and it is a lesson well learned, but for my sake, i just wish i would have learned it sooner.

but for now, i'm just so thankful that this chapter in my life is finally coming to a poetic close,
and i finally get to use my college education, and my brain for that matter.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

a new member of the fam.

yesterday we became parents.
ok, puppy parents.
her name is Mea and she is an eight week old
teacup sized bichon frise.

here's the story...
my hub called me at five on friday and told me
he was just leaving his office,
then at five thirty he called again and said he got held up and
now he was really walking out,
so when he got home at six i thought nothing of it
until he made a bee line to me and said, " you know i can't lie to you,
and i know you hate secrets, so that's why i have to tell you that today
i got off work at four to look for a puppy to give you for your birthday, but
they we gross so now i want you to pick one out!"

and i looked at him and laughed and was like, why did you just blurt that out?
you had me completely fooled and i would've been completely surprised, plus, i don't
even want a've convinced me that it's not the right time.

so i guess those mind games were all part of his month or two long master plan...
so yesterday we found a breeder a couple of hours away that had three litters of bichons
and they were all cute and cuddly and clean and not from a puppy mill and i got to pick one and
take it home with me!

choosing a name for her was as stressful (i can imagine) as choosing a name for a child...(doubtful, i know)
and because i didn't get any time to plan for this new addition we were driving to the breeder's reading
road signs, thinking of every puppy and human name we could think of.
eventually curtis said, what's the last movie we saw, which was a 1992 woodey allen movie called "husbands and wives"
with mia farrow
and curtis said that's it, what about mia, but i didn't want people to get it confused with "Mie-uh"
so we decided to spell it either Mea or Meah (not sure yet?)

but she's such a good girl. and it's summertime. time for walks and the park and picnics and it really did seem to feel like something was missing when we would take long evening walks together...and we knew it wasn't baby time yet.
so for now Mea/Meah is our baby. our little 1 lb. furry little baby that pees on newspaper already. what baby does that at eight weeks old?

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

welcome to the world of adulthood

tonight we found out that they accepted our offer on the house...
and so now it's more or less ours,
contingent upon the inspection (which we know it won't pass)
oh the joys of future home ownership...!

buying a house almost makes me feel like an adult.
just like i almost felt like an adult when i get married
and when we signed the papers to buy our first new car...
these are the steps one takes on the path of adulthood
and yet for some reason, most days i still feel like a kid,
or a teenager at best, but nothing like a proper adult most days.

once in a while, my life will flash before me and it'll hit me.
i am a grown-up,
married, with a full-time job, attempting to buy a house
and for a second i'll feel seasoned and mature.

then that moment will pass and my usual insecurities
return and i am again that confused little girl,
scribbling my way through life with my purple crayon
(harold anyone?)

but i think i like it better this way,
i don't have everything figured out.
...and i like to dream about our future dream house while planning for
the reality of living in a little white house
with just enough room for the two of us to play grown-up's together.

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